I Wait

Between the Roots has me thinking a lot about waiting. I feel abandoned, alone, unwelcome, and lonely. It feels like God has stopped talking to me, and I find myself asking, what have I done? I pray. I help lead others to Him. I am trying to do His work, but sometimes it feels like I am doing it alone. I know He is there. I know He is keeping watch. I know He hears my prayers. He has given me everything I need to do the work He has placed in front of me. And still, there are moments where it feels like He is far away, and I am carrying the burden by myself. But maybe that ache is not proof that He has left. Maybe it is the part of me still seeking approval. Still asking for a sign that I am doing well. Still wanting to hear, you are good, you are enough, you are doing this right. Because doubt has a loud voice when silence fills the room. As Christians, we all have moments where it feels like God is not there. We are walking the path, but we cannot feel the Guide beside us. We keep moving, but we wonder if we missed His voice somewhere behind us. But I have to remind myself that just because I am looking for Him does not mean He has lost sight of me. He still sees me. He still hears me. He is still present, even when I cannot feel Him the way I want to. Jesus sent His disciples out to speak of God’s greatness, His forgiveness, and His kingdom. He gave them what they needed, then sent them into places where they had to trust what had already been planted in them. Maybe this is part of that. Maybe God is not absent. Maybe He is giving me space to practice what He has already placed inside me. He wants me to go out with Him, yes, but sometimes He lets me take the first steps so I can learn that His Spirit is already moving within me. The night before church, I wrote these words from that place. I wrote about feeling alone, about waiting in the silence, about wondering why God felt distant when I was trying to follow Him. Then the next day, we had a guest preacher, and his message landed on this exact same place. Not close. Not sort of similar. The same place. And maybe that was the reminder I needed. Not a loud sign. Not thunder from heaven. Just a message I could not have arranged, spoken by someone who did not know what I had written the night before. I thought I was waiting in silence. But maybe He was preparing the echo. I am not abandoned. I am being strengthened. I am not alone. I am learning to walk with what He has already given me. Between the Roots, I wait. And even here, He sees me.